Come Fly With Me!

It’s time for HNW clients to realise that divorcing through the courts is a mug’s game and that mediation offers a superior and bespoke experience.

For most people taking a long haul flight, the journey is rarely welcomed. Arriving at ‘departures’ most people expect a long line before they can check in. That is of course unless they have booked a business class flight and then they can saunter to the front of the queue. For those flying, what the Americans prefer to call “cattle class” they will probably look on enviously.

For the next few hours before the flight takes off, the majority of passengers might grab some food or drink in some salubrious environment while the business class passengers make their way to the lounge. Relaxing in comfort ahead of the arduous journey.

On entering the plane how many of us have walked through business class looking at passengers sipping champagne in their oversized seats and wish it could be us as we are led to our cramped, uncomfortable seat for the remainder of the flight?

If we can afford it, we would all want the business class experience, wouldn’t we? This made me wonder why, when it comes to sorting out finances on divorce, do rich people usually decide to travel economy rather than business? What do I mean by that?  Well, they may appoint expensive lawyers and be seen in plush offices but the process they often go through and the experiences they encounter are far more akin to an economy class service rather than business class. Whereas in the remainder of their lives they expect luxury and good service when it comes to divorce they are prepared to experience things they would never tolerate outside of that process.

Take for example this analogy; imagine you want to take a long haul flight to Australia and I tell you that these are the terms and conditions of your business class ticket:

• You want to go to Australia but it is highly unlikely you will get there and indeed there is a good chance that you might be dropped off beforehand, say in Singapore;
• Your flight will take much longer than on an economy ticket;
• The flight is intended to make you feel as uncomfortable as possible;
• Your menu choices will be questioned and you will constantly be told that what you have asked for is totally unreasonable.
• There is a good chance that the staff will be rude to you and the pilot may even question what you were doing boarding the plan in the first place;

Oh and by the way, that flight is going to cost you four or five times the prices of an economy ticket. You simply wouldn’t make that purchase would you? So why is it that when divorcing couples come to sort out finances on divorce, they buy into a system that treats them in the way described above, when for a fraction of the cost they could purchase an alternative ticket i.e. mediation. Continuing with the analogy here’s what a mediation ticket looks like:

• One of the first details to be checked is your destination and from the outset you will know whether it is possible for you to travel where you want to and if not you will be given time to consider alternatives;
• The departure times are totally at you and your spouse’s discretion. Times of meetings, venue and facilities are all discussed with you and chosen ahead of time.
• You will travel in safety and in comfort.
• You will be treated with respect and courtesy
• Your journey will be probably two or three times faster than the alternative and so you will get where you want to be far quicker.

Oh and as mentioned above, the ticket cost will be four or five times cheaper than the so called “business class” version.

Too good to be true? Not really. That is the direct comparison between couples who choose the adversarial path through lawyers and court process and others who chose to work constructively with a mediator.

That’s not to say the flight will be “enjoyable”. All journeys have their difficulties. Will there be turbulence? Absolutely, that is to be expected. There will be many bumps along the way, but you will also remain in control and know that the journey will only end when you are happy for it to do so. Trust me – with an experience pilot at the helm and goodwill from the passengers there is no reason why you can’t journey to the new life ahead in record time.